The Convenient Path

A couple of days ago, I was sitting in my room, doing some useless, abortive stuff as usual, when one of my friends started a topic of discussion. There were 7 of us, say A, B, C, D, E, F and I. I do not remember how exactly the discussion started but one thing is for certain, that night was a very long night. All of us had our own views and none was willing to yield to the others’ arguments. The main topic of discussion was this: Should or should not Indians go abroad and settle there if it is more convenient to them? Effectively, it is the same as whether Brain Drain has a negative impact on the country or not.

B, being the root of most jokes cracked in the group, especially in connection to a certain girl named M, was the main target here. I was the only other guy supporting his claims. All others tried to refute our arguments resulting in a tedious, lengthy, intense battle to impose our beliefs on each other. When I joined the discussion, it had already heated up a bit. A and C were providing very strong opposition to B, at times going to the extent of ridiculing his statements and disdainfully ignoring his views. Poor B was attacked personally as well.

Heres what happened.

12:30 am

B: “I want to lead my life happily and comfortably. I am going to do whatever it takes to achieve that. I am not happy in this country, so I want to get out of here and go to a place where you get what you need.”
I didnt find anything wrong or offensive in what he said. Besides, my beliefs were in somewhat parallel terms. So, I started arguing for him. A had a problem with what B said.
A: “ It is because of people like you, ****ers like YOU, that the change, which was supposed to happen in this country is not happening. Do you know how many Indians go abroad and settle there every year? If all those ****ers had stayed behind and worked for our country, instead of boosting the GDP of other countries, India would have been in a better state today. And why arent you happy here? All of us are.”
I: “Dude do you really think all those people staying back would have helped the country? The porblem with this country is how it runs. Efficient people are not running it. Corrupt polticians are everywhere. All maggots who have no knowledge about the world whatsoever, just plenty of money to spare. The system is full of fatal flaws and is a total failure. They say the government is by the people. Do you think we can do anything to alter the way it is functioning? The answer is no, because the government is mainly elected by illiterate people who fall into their traps of false promises. And the government blissfully ignores the horrible literacy rate in this godforsaken country.”

At this point, E inturrepted and started saying something about peasants( the word horribly mispronounced) in the USA to which nobody paid much attention.
The argument continued with nobody reaching a conclusion and no one yielding.

1:30 am

C: “Dude, if all the people who went and settled in other countries stayed back, the literacy rate would have been better and if learned people like IITians and ‘NITians’ enter politics instead of running behind money, there would have been a better government and considerable change would have taken place.”
I: “Dude it is easier said than done. Do you think you are going to enter politics after finishing college?”
B: “If you give a beggar in India a good house and a sexy wife in London, do you think he is going to go or is he going to say this is my country, i do not want to leave it?”
C: “Why would I give a beggar here a good house in London, you dumbass!!!”

At this point, an isolated, moronic retard who, unfortunately, dwells close to my room, after hearing all the commotion so late in the night, entered the scene. Let us name him SUCKER.

SUCKER: “Abbey idhar sun. If all this discussion doesnt give you any joy, whats the point of the discussion?”

Then, he gave an expression of pride and when everyone ignored him, he left the room.

After hearing the noise coming from our room, G entered and wanted to argue against B and I.

G: “See man, if you go to Amul and ask people not to throw plastic near the footpath, dont you think it is gonna make a difference after sometime? It might not make an impact on most people, but atleast one or two will realise that what they are doing is not right. It is upto our hands to take responsibility and spread awareness in our country. Change is a gradual process and change will come. You cant expect it come overnight.”

Then, he went on to speak about how he was responsible for having a shopkeeper fined by the consumer court and other shit like that.

2:30 am-E and F were asleep by now

B: “ If God gives a beggar in India a good house and a sexy wife in London, do you think he is going to go or is he going to say this is my country, il do not want to leave it?”
D: “ WTF are you talking about? How would a beggar get a house in London all of a sudden?”
I: “A hypothetical situation dude. Dont you think he would choose a path more convenient to him? If he has got nothing out of this country, wouldnt he want to go out if hes got a chance?”
B: “ Just answer my question dude. If God gives a beggar in India a good house and a sexy wife in London, do you think he is going to go or is he going to say this is my country, i do not want to leave it.”
C: “Of course he is going to go.”
B: “So, if and when you guys get opportunities in other countries to lead your life better, why wouldnt you want to go? All this country concept is bullshit dude.”

Now, D was pissed off.

D: “All you do is Slog, see M. Slog,see M. Sleep. What other better work do you have? You dont have the right to talk about anything we do. You are a ****ing traitor. Get the **** out of here. Atleast we will try to improve this country.”

The next one hour went by as a discussion was going on about how shit is prevalent in this country and nobody is ready is clean it, most people think it is not their job and go out of the country to make their lives better, not caring for those who are directly affected by the shit.

3:30 am

G: “Guys, let us do this. From now on, whenever we go to Amul and see someone throwing plastic on the streets, let us make it our duty to remind him/her of the ill effects of plastic littering. Let us see if there is any change after 2 weeks. OK?”

I still do not understand why this guy was so obsessed with Amul.

Anyway, when everyone agreed, G claimed that the discussion had been concluded (I do not understand how) and suggested we all go to bed. So, G left.

But, we continued anyway. B continued with his Beggar Philosophy. I said I believe in my principles and I am going to follow them. A appeared to be highly ‘patrioic’ and said we can clean the shit that is sinking our country. As for C and D, they said they are going to stay here no matter what. So, we went to bed a 4 30 am, not because the discussion had ended, but because we were too tired and sleepy to continue any further.

A dialogue from one of my favourite movies, Scent of a woman, comes to my mind when I look back at this argument. Al Pacino as Lt.Col. Frank Slade says, “ I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew which the right path was. Without exception I knew. But, I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard.” I have to disagree with him on this. Whenever a path is hard, it cannot be the right path. The right path is one which conveniently and easily brings happiness in life.

Adios.

Whats up?

At last DORMANCY BROKEN.

Let me give a small overview about what I have been doing in the past month.

Lets begin with a report of one of the greatest cricket matches I witnessed.
It was some lame tournament in my college and as usual I didnt have to do  much to get into the team. A battle for supremacy between different classes of first years in NITK. Given the overwhelming population of North Indians in my class, most of who have never been exposed to any other sport, we had one of the best teams in the tournament. Here are some of the rules:

• A hit over the boundary is a six, where boundary is defined as a line 5 inches behind the bowling wicket.
• There has be 2 girls in each team. If not, the opposite team will be awarded 20 runs.
• 6 overs per team. Duckworth-Lewis not applicable.

We started our first match with a bang. We restricted the oppoition for 63 in 6 overs. I opened the batting. Whacked a six in the second ball. Got out in the fourth. One of the girls in our team scored a boundary. We won the game with 2 overs to spare.

Here comes the main part. We had to start our second match. I was not allowed to play. Reason: My name was not on the original list. **** those b******s who made such dumb**** rules. I sat on the bench watching the game as it proceeded in our favour. We had to chase 84. Most of our star batsmen went, hit a six and got out. So, finally we were left with 16 to score in 1 over. The ‘captain’ of the other team was bowling. First 5 balls, 7 runs. Damn. It was over. Most of us were getting ready to leave. The moronic captain took a long run up, ran hard and did the unimaginable. He bowled a No Ball on the inconsequential last delivery and our batsman swashbuckled it for a six. We were back in. 1 ball 2 to get. It was an easy single and it was time for some Super Over action.
We had a target of 6 in the super over. But, thanks to some amazing bowling by Newton (yeah, thats his name), we scored 5 and lost by 1 run.
The aftermath of the match consisted of the ‘captain’ of the opposition getting involved in a brawl with other guys in his class, swearing at the mess workers and, supposedly, getting kicked out of the mess.

With my zeal for doing something different reaching its heights, I performed a daring stunt a few days back. Those of you who think ghost stories are dumb and stupid, please exit rightaway.
Ghosts DONT exist. Everybody knows that. But, when something of the occult happens who doesnt get scared? Im sure people wont believe me when I say NITK beach is scary. Thats because they wouldnt have gone at night. Me and 6 other guys had a really scary experience once when we started hearing weird noises all around us one night. Obviously, they were some people but when you are in a completely uninhabited place and hear voices without seeing faces, you will feel something is out of place. I wanted to experience the thrill. So one night I went to the beach. ALONE!

I walked towards the beach, with ‘Death whispered a lullaby’ playing, towards the deserted exit gate of the campus. This is where the first weird thing happened. I have roamed about the college at all times of the day and night, but never had I come across a black cat with shining, golden eyes. There it was, right in front of the gate, staring at me. I got freaked out. It’s an ill omen, but it still is superstition. I knew something bad was going to happen. I walked out of the gate towards the eerie road which leads to the beach. Trust me when I say this is one hell of a road. Trees surrounding on both sides with a couple of dark houses on the way. I walked silently, the hairs on my body standing up. I made the sharp turn towards the dark lane that leads to the beach. This lane is the scariest part of the ‘journey’. A weird looking house on one side and a graveyard-like open space on the other. As soon as I entered that lane, there were 3 figures in front of me. Three old men. Man, that was scary. I had never seen a human at that time near the beach before. I moved on to discover two more old men. At last, I achieved what I wanted to. It was an amazing feeling. When I realized that I was the only soul in front of the vast expanse of the Arabian Sea, I felt its time to go back. I paced along the same eerie path. The two old men I had seen were still there. They took different directions. One went left into what looked like a darker road and one went straight. I moved forward and took a look at the old man who had taken a left turn. He walked peacefully. Then, I turned front. The other old man was gone. I cant say where. He was just gone. Only logical explanation I could think was that he went into a house nearby. But, I had reached my breaking point. I ran. I ran till I reached the highway, with the same old feeling that someone was following me. Then I entered through the gate. The cat was still there. I hurried on and reached the safety of my room with chills passing through my body every five seconds.

If you still think isnt scary enough, Id just say you werent in my position that day in that place. This experience was scarier than any horror movie Ive ever watched.

Anyway, back to the present. A laptop is one its way. Hopefully, I will write more regularly from now on.

Peace.

Escaping Guantanamo Bay only to enter Auschwitz

Waking up at 12 pm. Sleeping at 4 am. Having 45% attendance. Not giving a damn about anything. Not having a care in the world. Gorgeous ‘butterflies’ flying around. Always doing stuff I want to do. But, unfortunately, all this seems to be history. After committing the biggest mistake of my life, which is choosing NITK over BITS Pilani, my life seems to be submerged in an ocean of boredom, regret and furious anger.

Its been only a week since I came to this place, yet it seems like ages. Time doesnt run here, it moves slower than a snail. I thought that the height of joblessness was during the vacations, but I have been proved wrong. It definitely in a place called NITK. I seem to be doing everything wrong lately. Just when things seemed to be going my way, everything is as screwed up as it ever was. Now im sitting in the computer centre of NITK in a free period when I would have done some useless, yet refreshing, shit on normal, enjoyable days.

I do not know if everyone feels the same way in his/her first week in a new place with all new people around. But here, I appear to be  the only one who feels that everything is ****ed up in life. Let me describe my series of unfortunate events. First, the guy I was hoping to avoid the rest of my life joins the same college. Whats more, he ends up as my roommate for Satan’s sake. Then, I meet the biggest loser (perfectly termed ‘Pyade’ by my cousin) in the world who also ends up in my room. Then, I end up in a block almost full of Biharis (that means, people who keep to themselves and communicate ONLY in slang Hindi. No offence to Biharis). Then, I end up in a class full of ____. Then,………..will not be mentioned here……….. If you still dont think this is misery enough, think about this. You wake up in the morning and notice that all the water in the world has been removed. You dont have water to take a bath, no water to take a crap, not even enough water to drink. This place is the epitome of a concentration camp, stuffing 4 people in a room fit for two.

My roommates deserve a small mention here. Firstly, all of them are nerds. If you read my WHO AM I? page you will understand that the first thing I cant tolerate is people who do nothing but studying. But, im sure a couple of _____ (always refers to the above mentioned definition) would have been worse. I have known one of my roommates for more than two years now. In fact I have known him pretty well. He was in my class in Jain College, used to come to BASE too. But, he has one major problem. All he wants to do always is sleep or speak to his girlfriend over the phone.
“Dude, lets go out and play or do something.”
“No. Lets go to the hostel and sleep. Im damn sleepy man.”
He says this after 7 hours of sleep. WTF!
The second guy is the the guy I used to despise the most. He turns out to be a not-so-horrible-yet-horrible guy. Atleast he wants to go out of the room and do something enjoyable.
Then, its the Pyade. Other than making us laugh half the day by his ‘usual’ behaviour, all he does is go to the library or go to class 15 min early. As a result, Ive taken to teasing and irritating him a lot and he runs away as soon as he sees me.

Maybe my despair is short lived. Maybe I have to meet a lot more people I can communicate with in the future. Maybe Il go to an IIT next year and get the **** out of this place. Maybe this feeling is normal.
Just hoping to make use of  the good resources here, irrespective of what my friends (read, roomies) do. Just hoping that my life becomes the way it was a few months back.

Peace.

P.S: Iwould really appreciate comments from seniors here, if at all you happen to come across my blog.

Night trek at Skandagiri- A visit to tranquility

“Dude, at ANY cost we are not cancelling the trek.” This was my friend’s response when we discovered that Night Trek is banned at Skandagiri. After a very long discussion and careful planning, we ended up at Skandagiri hill at 3 in the morning on a cloudy monsoon day.

Skandagiri (or Kalavaara betta) is a hill very close to the famed Nandi Hills and is well known for the view of the sunrise one can get from its top. The nearest town to the place is Chickaballapura. So, with the intention of doing something I have never done so far, I wanted to conquer this hill and see the beautiful sunrise (see Google images) from the top. The plan was simple. We, that is Preetyboy, Suja, Rao and me,  reach Chickaballapura by 10, stay in Rao’s relatives’ house till 2, start trekking by 2 30, reach the top by 5 and see the sunrise.

9:50: Four souls are seen walking along the lonely streets of Chickaballapura.

11:00: After finishing dinner, the four, now joined by X and Y, are playing carrom and NFS Most Wanted.

1:00: Its Poker time.
Reiteration of Preetyboy going ALL IN on the first hand of every game (obviously having a horrible hand) and losing a considerable sum of virtual money.

2:00: Poker still going on.

2:30: Everybody realises that its time to leave.

Y: 40 minutes is sufficient to climb. I have done it 4 times.

2:40: In front of the house. All six are crowded around 1 Honda Activa which believes in reducing Greenhouse gas emission. It finally yields, thanks to Preetyboy’s powerful kick.

3:15: At the Base of the hill.

Moronic Guide: Sir, without guide you cannot climb the hill. There are three bears on the prowl. They have already  attacked a group of trekkers. There are very dangerous  snakes also.
X: What can a guide do if we are attacked by a bear?
Moronic Guide: A guide knows how to handle (read fight) a bear.
Not so moronic guide: Here is my number, sir. Call me if you are stuck somewhere.

3:20: We are stuck. Having travelled 200m, we do not know where to go. Y, who has climbed the hill 4 times, looks as clueless as the rest of us. A call is given to Not so moronic guide (NSMG).

3:30: The ascent begins at last.

3:40: X is tired. Our first stop. All you future trekkers, beat that. A stop after TEN minutes of climbing.

3:45: Resumption. NSMG begins his thrilling, fictitious tales about the hill.

NSMG: Couples always come here and make out on top of the hill. So, night trek is banned here, sir.

Who the hell would do that? I mean, arent there better places to do that?

4:00: X is finding it very difficult to climb. Starts puking. Our second stop.

4:15: X is pushed constantly by Y, Suja and Rao to keep up the pace. NSMG keeps on reminding that we will miss the sunrise if we dont climb faster. 45 minutes have passed since we started the ascent, which is more than the 40 minutes Y said we would require, and we have climbed 25% of the hill.

4:30: Suja and Preetyboy, being the daily-10km-cyclers, increase their speed. I keep up.

4:45: I cannot keep up anymore. I slow down.

5:05: We have conquered Skandagiri at last.

What a feeling it was!!! Nature at its best. It was not long before we realised that we were inside a gigantic cloud. With visibility of 10m and winds punching us with enormous speed, it was like a pleasant blizzard. We were sane enough to take 3 tins of beer to combat the cold. I ended up paying 50 bucks for 5 sips of ice cold beer. Suja, I will never forgive you for that.

We had to face disappointment though. The sun was not visible till around 8 30. So, our wish to see a very pretty sunrise was not granted. Neither were we able to see the clouds floating like an ocean below us. Unfortunately, we had visited the place in the wrong season. March and April would be the perfect months to trek at Skandagiri. But still the view from the top of the hill and experiencing winds at such velocity  is worth the tedious, long climb.

The following are spots I personally enjoyed the most:

• There are couple of small shelters on the way up, mostly built a long time ago for a reason unknown to me. These two shelters are now present in the middle of a long stretch of overgrown plants which, supposedly, houses a lot of dangerous snakes and 3 bears.
• There is a beautiful spot on the top of the hill where I had my best experience of the trek. A couple of big boulders have interlocked at their tips and a gap is present between them. These two boulders decrease the wind velocity considerably. But, when one stands right in front of the gap, one can experience winds at unbelievable speeds. Imagine how fast the wind must have been travelling if you cannot stand still and you cannot hold the camera to take a good photograph. Wow!!! I would have paid a million bucks, if I had it, for that experience.
• On top, there is a spot which overlooks a very beautiful scenery all around. It is, probably, the steepest part of the whole hill going about 200-300 meters right down and meeting an arrangement of big rocks at its base.

Some useful information for future trekkers: It took us 1.5 hours to climb and 1.5 hours (including a lot of stops to take snaps) to descend. It is very difficult to ascend at night as the paths are not very prominent. So, a guide is a necessity. Even though there are no ‘dangerous’ areas as such, the climb is very exhausting without 4-5 stops. Must carry torches, plenty of water, light food, camera.

This is Preetyboy, me and Suja. At this time, Rao was somewhere on top of the hill, apparently lazing, and shouting at regular intervals, “Bega Banro”.

This is the four of us. L to R: Me, Rao, Preetyboy, Suja

A disastrous silhouette. Would have been better if the Sun was rising in the background.

In memory of Jain College, V.V.Puram- Vol.2

A couple of years ago, I was in a situation in which I could choose between any Pre-university college, thanks to my scores in 10th boards. But, the lazy guy inside me took control and I ended up applying only to two colleges- Josephs and Jain. And I ended up joining Jain because I was too lazy to go to Josephs, which is farther from my residence than Jain, for admission. I guess I haven’t changed much since then. A few days back I didn’t attend my KCET counseling as I was too lazy to travel 20 kms.

Attendance Shortage:

I have a serious question here. Why do schools and colleges give special awards for students who have 100% attendance in the academic year? I do not understand the logic behind it. I mean, do they have the misconception that 100% attendance students are in a better position score better in the exams? Or do they think its an achievement? As far as I am concerned, it is just the heights of joblessness. Here I am, with 45% attendance, on my way to a college which is better than ALL my classmates’ colleges. From the opening day of Jain PU College, all students were continuously warned that the consequences of attendance shortage would be dire. I  didn’t pay heed to the words of the ‘learned ones’. And yeah! I had to face dire consequences in the end, which happened to be receiving the hall-ticket without anyone questioning me of my irregularity. Many of my friends, who had 74% attendance, which is 1% less than the minimum required attendance, in other colleges had to pay hefty fines to receive their hall-tickets. So, in all aspects Jain, V.V.Puram was the ideal college for me. I am ever grateful to it.

Two weeks in BASE:

One of the many comforts enjoyable if a BASE student joins Jain College is a chance to spend two weeks towards the end of 2nd PU in BASE. Of Course, it is meant for JEE preparation under supervised-hardcore-slogging conditions. Two weeks away from hell and in a place where you at least feel like studying. Mind you, just feel like studying. And neither the supervised part nor the slogging part is true. I spent the best two weeks of my last two years in BASE. We were a gang of six. One guy wanted to study and studied properly, one guy was there to pass time and the remaining four, which includes me, wanted to study but did not study. So, this is what we used to do. Spend some 12 hours in BASE everyday (which includes a 4 hour break for lunch), study for 2 hours, talk shit for the remaining time. Instead of making us come to BASE, if those two weeks’ leave was granted to us (like I needed it. I am always on leave) so that we could sit at home and study, I would have probably cleared JEE.

There were hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of amazing moments in these two weeks. On one such day, we were sitting in a room and studying. Almost all of us had our mp3s and iPods on. Some lady was recording some useless PU stuff using the computer in the room. So, there is this lady speaking to herself loudly and we are silently studying. The guy who was there to pass his time starts gesturing something to the guy sitting next to him. He could not speak a word as whatever he speaks ends up getting recorded. I do not know what the silent conversation was about. The other guy involved in this silent conversation has his iPod on full volume. This guy suddenly shouts on top of his voice, “Thika”(arse). The recording of that lady was ruined. She turns back with a frustrated look on her face. This poor guy immediately hides underneath the desk. All of us burst out in uncontrollable laughter and run out of the room and continue laughing non-stop for nearly half an hour after that.

Quizzing:

Quizzing is an art only the craziest of people can get hold of. I, obviously, qualify. Jain College was full of mental-cases like me. So, there arose a cult of quizzing freaks in my college. We created a new quiz club, which created ONE quiz in the entire year, to lead a more meaningful college life. We ruled the stage wherever we went. Our college won the best school team award at Landmark’s annual quiz. Of the eight teams on stage in KQA’s Jubilee Quiz three were from my college. Any college fest, we would bag all the honours. I was on stage, shockingly, in one such college quiz. My team missed out on a glorious, rare opportunity to win a prize, courtesy my genius (I’m not sarcastic) partner who refused to press the buzzer on many occasions as he thought that a more sensible answer was required. In that quiz, we started a new custom of answering ‘Atom Bomb’ for questions we did not know the answer to. We get a question and we say ‘Atom Bomb’. The quiz master moves on saying its the wrong answer. For the very next question, we answer ‘Atom Bomb’. Very clever right? (If you dont get the joke here, visit a doctor)

Two years in Jain College was time well spent without a doubt. Two years in Jain College, mind you, not in Jain College Classrooms. I never thought I would say this. I miss Jain, V.V.Puram. Yes, I miss Jain,V.V.Puram.

P.S:

• Evidently, I have been impressed by Tarantino before writing this post.
• Josephites and Christians (isnt this what you call morons from Christ College?) suck.
• If you ever happened to visit Jain College, make sure your urinary bladder is not full.
• To all my classmates except ‘Power’- Miss You.

In memory of Jain College, V.V.Puram- Vol.1

I have got a lot to say here. How can I ever forget this place? The quadrangle, the Principal’s office (I was a regular there), the 4th floor, the fast food where I ate Masala Dosa and Ice cream everyday for two years (not forgetting the shitty ketchup my friend used to relish eating with his sandwich every single day), Aunty’s where many of my classmates  fagged, the elite restrooms, the girls. How can I ever forget?

Fests:

This section is dedicated to the abortive Forums in my college, hoping they would learn from other college fests. I am not going to talk about our college fests here as they need no mentioning for everyone knows one beautiful, universal truth. Jain College fests suck!!! Anyway, considering the fact that I spent more time in the campuses of other colleges than in my college, I surely would know a lot about Bangalore PU College fests. The best ones were at Joseph’s, Christ and MCC. When my first year was ripe, I attended the Mount Carmel College fest. Ever read the T-Shirt catchphrase- ‘99% of the women are beautiful. The rest are in my college’? If you talk about Bangalore, there are two exceptions to this. Jain and Christ. The correct catchphrase would be- ‘99% of Bangalore’s hot girls are in MCC, the rest are in Jain and Christ’. Man, what a place that is! Unfortunately, it is a women-only college. I didnt want to miss the fest at any cost. I was participating in the quiz competition. My two moronic partners and I had to be there by 10 30 as the quiz was scheduled to start at 11. I woke up at 10 30. With great difficulty, I reached my college at 11 15 where I was supposed to meet my esteemed partners. One guy turned up at 11 20. No sign of the other guy. We called him thrice in intervals of 2 minutes and each time he replied, “2 minutes, dude.” 10 minutes later we find him slowly coming out of the Pool Zone next to our college. Finally, we reached MCC at 11 45. Then, we ran. We ran like a hunted deer, without any proper destination in mind. It was our first time in that college and none of  us knew its interiors. Then, some girl told us go to the other side of the campus and enter room number 101 in a ‘red’ building. A red building? What sort of a description is that? We went to some place which appeared to be the other side of the campus and found a building that was red enough to be called a ‘red building’. All it had for an entrance was a door. Without hesitating, we dashed into the building and found a few stairs. Still not finding anything out of place, we went up the stairs to find a few closed doors. It looked like a cheap lodging place. Then, we saw a girl in her pajamas walking towards us. Still not finding anything out of place, we approached her and asked her where room number 101 was. She was dumbstruck. Just then, a security guard hastened towards us and said, “This is a ladies hostel, sir. I want you to go out please.” Damn! That was embarassing. And for the record, we came second in that quiz.

Feuds with teachers:

Trust me, many PU teachers are either under-qualified or do not deserve their qualification.Not surprising as there is a big time shortage of lecturers in India. I say it with lot of pride that I was not very popular with such teachers. The main reason was that I used to answer most questions the teacher asked and the teacher couldnt answer most questions I asked. I was often treated with animosity, which was often expressed by a 120 degree turn by the teacher, apparently showing his/her back to me, when my hand went up. My 45% attendance added to this resentment. So, inevitably, there were some instances when I was sent out of the class or was punished more harshly by giving me extra work or taking me to the principal. On one such occasion, I found myself sitting in a Maths class which I usually did not attend. It was the last bench, I think. My last bench buddies and I were in a jovial mood that day. And when the teacher we resented the most entered the class, we couldnt help but crack jokes at him. This dude ignored us completely and we were happy. But, thanks to me, his ignorance was not our bliss anymore. My friend cracked a joke (unfortunately, I cannot remember what it was) which was so funny that everybody around us burst out in silent laughter. But, when I tried to control mine a shrill, involuntary  shriek came out. The whole class burst out laughing. Me and my friend were sent out of the class. But, the worst part is there was only 5 minutes left for the closing bell and we didnt get attendance.

Another such day, I was in the maths department, immmediately after my 2nd preparatory exam,  holding my 1st preparatory paper. I had scored 56/100. The question paper was a compilation of previous JEE questions. Consequently, just four students had passed in a class of 85 and I was one among them. I met my other Maths teacher in the department. This guy is disliked by every person in the entire college. He looked at me with an I-hate-you expression and asked me, “Ivathin paper hengithri (How was todays paper)?” I replied arrogantly, “Cheap, sir. 100/100.” I loved the expression on his face after I had said that. Because of bad fate or whatever, the same guy got to correct my paper. I ended up getting a 60/100. LOL.

Encounters with Sanskrit:

OK, this was a mistake and I agree now. I had gone crazy after my class 10 board exams and as a direct effect, ended up taking a language I had never studied before as my second language. Yes, that language is called Sanskrit. The fact that I finally ended up getting a decent score is secondary. I will never forget the hell I had to go through to learn the basics of ‘God’s language’. Devavaneem Samskrutham as it is called in the fair tongue. I used to sit in the class, not understanding a word the teacher is talking, nodding my head in agreement when the teacher said something. There were a few instances when I was scolded or asked questions (I couldnt make out if the teacher was asking me a question or scolding me) and I nodded my head. Imagine if you are a teacher and ask a student a question and the student nods. But, luckily I had very good teachers and they helped me a lot to learn the language. May the Force be with those still studying Sanskrit.

P.S: Vol.2 will be coming shortly.

Just another post

Since I have been totally jobless for the past week, I thought I may just compile all my latest ‘adventures’ and make a post out of them.

JEE 2009:

Seems a long time ago. But its still as hard to get over it as it was on the day following the massacre of my dreams. One good day would have been the perfect panacea. Engineering Physics in Madras or pure science in Kanpur would have been ideal. Nevertheless, there is some respite now that Ive done well in the other exams. Having realized that the brand IIT is not worth wasting a year, Ive moved on.

NITK:

So, Ive decided at last. With most of my friends going there and most people I know insisting me to go there, I just couldnt refuse it. I had done quite a bit of research on the two colleges before deciding. Youtube, alumni sites, blogs and various other sites provided the information I needed. And after considering that my preparation for JEE 2010 will be earnest, I felt NIT Surathkal is better as I am not ready to waste 120-130 grand.

Astronomy:

I have always wanted to make a living by working in the field of science that is dear to me. But, unfortunately, now I am being forced to concede that it is highly unlikely to happen. My love for astronomy has been there as long as I can remember. So, it is difficult to digest the fact that I wont be studying it full-time. The lack of good institutes offering graduation courses in astronomy or pure science has added to my disappointment (Please do let me know if Im wrong here and there exists a good institute I am not aware of). However, I would do my best to improve my knowledge about it.

Of late:

The number of movies my computer stores has increased exponentially in the last few weeks. I have been living on movies (either in theaters or at home)  and South Park for a long time now. Football is also not as rare as a blue moon anymore. But holidays still suck. It sucks even more if plans of some adventure are being canceled regularly thanks to some divine beings who have the ability to sit at home all day doing nothing. Some good things did happen though. I discovered Quentin Tarantino’s movie-making ability, relived my obsession of watching horror movies alone late night with full volume (even though I played hide-and-seek with the demons in my life, cockroaches, at 3 a.m. after watching The Ring, I hide and they seek that is), realized that Kannada movies are not the worst form of entertainment after watching The Indian Thriller on youtube (make sure you check it out) and saw with full contentment the departure of my most dreaded footballer, Chutiyano Ronaldo of course. Hail Steven Gerrard and Liverpool!!!

Bangaloreans = Brainless

A couple of days ago, I was unfortunate enough to attend the felicitation ceremony of my IITJEE coaching institute, BASE. I, being an ‘awardee’ for achieving the distinction of being one among 60000 people to have been awarded a rank in the extended merit list of JEE 09, was forced to attend this ceremony. I have nothing against the ceremony for I gained a lot from the discussion session that succeeded it. But, my problem lies in the fact that an incredible number of pu students and their asinine parents attended the ceremony.

BASE is a place I respect with all my heart. It made me what I am today. The institute was started solely for the purpose of training students to clear the JEE from this God-forsaken region. As it grew in popularity, other training programs were included, which now embodies the highly popular PUC tuition program. And the present situation is deeply lamentable. The number of students studying in the abortive, dumbf**k PUC program is more than 4 times the number of students in the IIT program. As a direct effect, a lot of PUC students and their parents attended the felicitation ceremony. It so happens that this year the 2nd PUC topper is from BASE and ill-fatedly my classmate in college and this guy has secured centums in all the four core subjects, which makes him a God to other aspiring PUC students.

Here is an incident i want to, regretfully, highlight. The 32nd ranker in JEE went to receive his award and the audience cheered. The 2nd PUC topper went to receive his award and the audience, literally, screamed their lungs out. WTF man!!! And the 2nd PUC topper received a special award for securing centums in all the core subjects. Again WTF!!! The more regrettable part is that parents want their children to become like this guy. The 2nd-PUC-tuition industry in this state is, probably, a million-dollar industry and its demand is ever increasing. This clearly explains the fact that a maximum of 150 students clear the JEE from this state every year. When will people learn that mugging PU stuff and scoring centums is not what is required in the world today? A more appropriate question will be when will bangaloreans learn that students have brains that work and not just store information? I believe the answer is never.

The King Of Confusion, which is me, is still stuck between BITS Pilani mechanical and NITK mechanical. I am in a situation wherein which I am now forced to choose between fun and quality. I dont want to compromise on either. The information Ive gathered indicates that BITSians are very serious in their studies and mainly nerds go there. My bonding with them is next to impossible. At the same time BITS has a better brand name than NITK. If you are a present or ex- student of either college, I would appreciate it if you left a comment which could clear my dilemma.

P.S: My aieee rank is 5759, state rank 111, and my BITSAT score is 342. Guess this compensates for my lack of performance in JEE.

BITS Pilani vs NITK

Lo and Behold!!! The recent change of events have been a pleasant shock. I have cleared both AIEEE and BITSAT. I was expecting April12 to turn up on April 26th and May 15th, but the coward did not show up on either day. So, I did not end up doing a JEE again. Secured 342 in BITSAT and am expecting around 260 in AIEEE which should, in all probablity, fetch me a good branch in Pilani as well as Surathkal.

This unexpected U-turn of fortune has also caused a problem. What do i choose now? Which of the two institutions satisfies my requirements to a greater extent? My limited knowledge about the two colleges has added to the dilemma. I have always wanted to join a college in which studying is the last thing everybody does. I want to have the time of my life in the next four years. There must be adequate sports facilities and freedom inside the campus. There should be a lot of clubs which function without the interference of the college authorities. Most importantly, the college degree must have a high value. This is where IITs play a big role and when im talking about NIT and BITS they couldnt be very far behind. Lastly, and obviously, the chicks matter.

Well now i have to figure out which suits me better. What i have heard so far indicates that NITK is better. But the fact that BITS has better infrastructure, facilities and is raining the-other-sex (sources not very reliable) creeps in here. Also to be considered is the extra 50000 odd i will be paying if i join Pilani. I should not regret whatever i do in the next month or two.

In these few weeks after JEE I have discovered, rather re-discovered, that slogging for any exam makes things worse. My JEE experience proves it. I studied nothing after JEE and this has been fruitful.

P.S: The election has been highly interesting. Hopefully, change will not remain outside the horizon. I loved the defeats of Lalu and Paswan. Few people,mostly Dalits, wanted Paswan to be the PM. He is not even an MP now. LOL!!!!

Fake IPL Player: Fake or Factual

IPL2 may not yet have produced the excitement expected, but it has given birth to a new form of entertainment. Most of us who are fortunate enough to have checked it out and rolled on the floor laughing know what’s going on inside the real IPL world. The source- Fake IPL Player. In case you still haven’t checked it out, you’ve missed most of the fun. The fake IPL Player blogs at www.fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com. He claims to be a member of the KKR and leaks out most of the inside information. I do not know if he is a cricketer or not, but he sure is one hell of a blogger.

The Kolkata management has claimed that he is some arbitrary guy writing fantasy stories and making some good guesses. They say that it cannot be a cricketer as he has made some ‘fundamental errors’ and no cricketer would jeopardize his career by doing such a thing. I have got no idea what those errors are. But his blogging has been superb. There were speculations that the mystery blogger is either Akash Chopra or Sanjay Bangar as the two were sent back this week. There were speculations that the blogger is Dada himself as FIPLP calls him Lord Almighty (Lordie). There were speculations that the blogger is Harsha Bhogle. This guy surely seems to have stirred the entire KKR side. I guess we will have to wait and see as the blogger has vowed to reveal his identity at the end of the last game of the KKR.

The tales starring Mr.Vinnie Dildo, Appam Chutiya, Bhookha Naan, Kishen Kanhaiyya, Kaan Moolo and all the other ‘fictitious’ characters are amazingly knit. The result of all this colourful story-telling is a huge list of fans and a smaller list of despisers in the cricketers. But the question is how much of it is true. I think the problem for the Knight Riders is not the spilling of the beans. It is his huge list of followers who develop a sort of hatred towards the side. The blog definitely would reduce the number of fans of the KKR and SRK. Regardless of the factuality of the blog, the readers have enjoyed every bit of it.

Like I said, I do not know whether the blog is true or not. But the fact is I do not care. It could be an insider who dislikes the way things are going at his club or it could be a publicity stunt. No matter what it is, it has brilliant, fraudulent humour and worth a read.